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Ellen Hendriksen's avatar

Honestly, I think the best "gear" your baby will benefit from is your conscientious personality. As a fellow conscientious person, it's not flashy, but IMHO it's the way to go.

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Dani Richards's avatar

Olga, I just finished reading your book (which was very interesting).

Loving this article about how we used to learn about taking care of babies before the internet, so that's what this comment is. My babies were born in the 1990s. I did not have ancestral knowledge from my mother or other family members. My husband and I had moved far away from family. The hospital was of no help. I'd never changed a diaper before in my life. I resented that they seemed to think I knew how to do that.... they showed my husband how, but they didn't show me!

The shorter answer, though, is that I went to the actual library and checked out books on parenting. I went to the bookstore and bought books on parenting, nursing, physical-social-emotional care of babies. I joined a "Mom's group" where we all had kids around the same age (infant, toddler, preschooler, as well as some on the way) and we shared info in person -- what worked and didn't work. I found other moms of slightly older (school age) children and picked their brains. And trial and error with my firstborn.

I recommend that everyone have at least two children, because then you will learn that while you are a big influence on your children, you are not the only influence. And a lot of it is their inborn personality. You will relax more (as a parent) with the second child -- not take all the blame or the credit for how they turn out. Of course, it's a huge responsibility, but mostly you just have to be there and love them. The rest will follow.

Enjoy!

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