Having a Pleasant Solo Vacation as an Old

I recently did this and so can you!

So you want to see the world, slurp the oyster that is humanity, live the vagabond’s life, or at least take some nice Instagram photos. You want to take a vacation by yourself.

But you're old! You can't tolerate inconveniences and your knee makes that clicking sound when you walk uphill. You're not gonna Before Sunset around with a handsome stranger; you're not even sure if you can stay awake until sunset. What to do?

I have some advice here because I recently did this. I went on vacation, by myself, as a 30-something woman who doesn’t like anything. I did not sleep in hostels. I did not step off the Eurostar and simply “get lost.” I did, however, make meticulous plans, take some nice Instagram photos, and have a perfectly good time. And you can too!

Here are my tips, which are geared more toward walky, sightseeing vacations than beachy, lay-around vacations:

1. Beg your hotel for an early check in. If you look pathetic enough, this may work, and you’ll be so, so happy. My hotel in Portugal charged me 50 euro in cash for this privilege and I have never been more pleased to hand over a comically wide bill to someone. I got three hours of sleep before sightseeing, which was the only three hours of sleep I got in that particular 24 hours.

2. When you get to your destination, empty out your day pack (your carryon backpack, whatever you flew with) and pack it again with all the essentials—rain jacket, phone batteries, cords, foreign money because credit card machines will be broken—and take it with you everywhere you go every day. I did not do this and wound up halfway through a very long hike with an iPhone charger but no cord, running out of water, and wrapped in a beach towel for warmth.

3. Wear sneakers. You’re gonna be walking a half-marathon every day. This is not the time to try to look European. You're not European, you're old! Time to take last year's Nikes out of retirement and work that monastery like it’s a Super Target.

4. Download some shows from Netflix to watch on the flight—or back at your hotel, for after you leave the restaurant and wander by the club only to find the music deafening, even from the outside. You’re not going clubbing, and the Netflix over there is all different.

5. Wear a fanny pack. They're back in style now (sort of) and the alternative is to wear your backpack like a baby bjorn or get robbed.

6. Go somewhere warm-ish. Travel involves a lot of sitting on a bench figuring out where to go next. You don’t want to do this in the freezing rain.

7. Go somewhere with good food. When you're not walking, you're gonna be in a restaurant. And let's face it, you can't drink like you used to, so the food is gonna be the main event. I would say Portugal wins in this regard, though the service is terrible. If you disagree with me on this, I will tell you the story of how in one place I had to get up, walk over to my waitress, who was polishing silverware, and beg her to bring me my dish, which I could clearly see on the counter. That wasn’t even the worst time.

8. Buy a guidebook and do what it says. I used Rick Steves and whenever I deviated from his suggestions, I lived to regret it. The exception to this rule is that when you see a tourist attraction with no line, just go in. That's God trying to save you yet another hour of waiting around.

9. Just take Uber. I found it cheaper than it is in the U.S. and the fastest way to get between things with limited time. Yes, trains are more cosmopolitan, but the great thing about Uber drivers is that they pick you up from exactly where you are and take you to exactly where you want to go.

What does this post have to do with personality, you might ask. Not much! I guess you could say that it’s an example of me being conscientious but also disagreeable and neurotic—three of the Big Five personality traits.

Mostly I just saw a need in the marketplace for a travel blog post for people who aren’t young and aren’t running some sort of credit-card-point arbitrage scheme. Learn from my experience! Travel comfortably! Obrigada!

I Ubered here