I love this. I am not a “baby person”, but obviously I loved my boys when they were babies. I’m just glad they’re older now. Amazing what hormones and necessity can do for us in different stages of life!
I'm not a baby person, even after having six. I'd sit and read while Baby ate, and marvel that I actually felt love for him while also knowing I was depressed. Hormones are amazing.
When my baby started acting intelligent, I always felt more reliable-- I know I like being around intelligent people. The terrible twos never happened, six times in a row. Two year olds! You can teach them anything!
And all the negativity some people write about teens, or mutter in the checkout line at the village grocery? Maybe, but maybe not. Nine times out of ten, a teen in trouble needs the same thing anybody else needs when they're in trouble: someone to listen while they figure out what to do next. Relax, it's not that hard. Remember learning to relax at birthing classes? The skill is relevant for the rest of one's life.
This is identical to my experience of motherhood. AND my kid is very extroverted too! I’ve actually really enjoyed putting myself out there in order to give them the social stimulation they need.
What a wonderful post! I’m at the point in life where I’m going to try and get pregnant. A lot of my fears were similar to yours so I loved hearing your experiences.
So totally true! I hate cliches but they’re there for a reason. Everything changes when you have a baby. With your kids, you just find a way to be the parent they need.
I don’t have the personality of a parent of little kids, and 3 kids later, I still don’t think I am. I’m very high openness and very low extroversion, which makes certain parts of parenting very tough. (And also moderately high conscientiousness, which means I’m terrible at going with the flow or living with mess). I’m also not very agreeable! The low neuroticism probably helps, though the mess DOES make me more neurotic. I just about get by with my own kids, but with other people’s kids, I’m still pretty terrible. If someone else’s kid looks like they want attention from a grown up, I still try to sink into the floor and nog be noticed because I just have no way to not be awkward lol
I think to have kids these days either you are pretty low openness, or very high openness (as in, open to life paths that are unusual for your cohort). Most educated people are very low fertility, so to have an education and a bunch of children requires diverging quite a bit from the beaten path (for my cohort).
The picture got me. I just wrote pretty extensively about my love of travel and the very different, but not necessarily worse experiences you have as a traveler when moving about with small people. If you're parenting right, you remain very much yourself just... softened.
And best wishes during these critical first few years of your motherhood. You'll be building millions of new neural pathways, and... oh, wait -- that's the kid. Nevermind. Given my middle-of-the-bell-curve nature, I am probably rather representative of many of your readers, and so writing on behalf of thousands I will never meet, I will mention that our shared expectation is that you will be an exceptional mother, as long as you continue to let yourself be yourself. News of your motherhood is wonderful!
I love this. I am not a “baby person”, but obviously I loved my boys when they were babies. I’m just glad they’re older now. Amazing what hormones and necessity can do for us in different stages of life!
I'm not a baby person, even after having six. I'd sit and read while Baby ate, and marvel that I actually felt love for him while also knowing I was depressed. Hormones are amazing.
When my baby started acting intelligent, I always felt more reliable-- I know I like being around intelligent people. The terrible twos never happened, six times in a row. Two year olds! You can teach them anything!
And all the negativity some people write about teens, or mutter in the checkout line at the village grocery? Maybe, but maybe not. Nine times out of ten, a teen in trouble needs the same thing anybody else needs when they're in trouble: someone to listen while they figure out what to do next. Relax, it's not that hard. Remember learning to relax at birthing classes? The skill is relevant for the rest of one's life.
This is identical to my experience of motherhood. AND my kid is very extroverted too! I’ve actually really enjoyed putting myself out there in order to give them the social stimulation they need.
Well said. We blossom into new selves when we become a parent. That being said, a vacation with a two-year-old is a vacation for the two-year-old!
https://harebrained.substack.com/p/not-a-loser-baby
What a wonderful post! I’m at the point in life where I’m going to try and get pregnant. A lot of my fears were similar to yours so I loved hearing your experiences.
So totally true! I hate cliches but they’re there for a reason. Everything changes when you have a baby. With your kids, you just find a way to be the parent they need.
I don’t have the personality of a parent of little kids, and 3 kids later, I still don’t think I am. I’m very high openness and very low extroversion, which makes certain parts of parenting very tough. (And also moderately high conscientiousness, which means I’m terrible at going with the flow or living with mess). I’m also not very agreeable! The low neuroticism probably helps, though the mess DOES make me more neurotic. I just about get by with my own kids, but with other people’s kids, I’m still pretty terrible. If someone else’s kid looks like they want attention from a grown up, I still try to sink into the floor and nog be noticed because I just have no way to not be awkward lol
I think to have kids these days either you are pretty low openness, or very high openness (as in, open to life paths that are unusual for your cohort). Most educated people are very low fertility, so to have an education and a bunch of children requires diverging quite a bit from the beaten path (for my cohort).
The picture got me. I just wrote pretty extensively about my love of travel and the very different, but not necessarily worse experiences you have as a traveler when moving about with small people. If you're parenting right, you remain very much yourself just... softened.
https://expatriarch.substack.com/p/date-a-girl-who-travels-and-have
Thank goodness, 'cause I'm male.
And best wishes during these critical first few years of your motherhood. You'll be building millions of new neural pathways, and... oh, wait -- that's the kid. Nevermind. Given my middle-of-the-bell-curve nature, I am probably rather representative of many of your readers, and so writing on behalf of thousands I will never meet, I will mention that our shared expectation is that you will be an exceptional mother, as long as you continue to let yourself be yourself. News of your motherhood is wonderful!
God bless
"One of my friends from college once remarked to me, out of the blue, that I don’t seem to smile much." - Just Soviet things
beautifully put!