My mother is Mongolian and was raised in Communist Mongolia speaking Russian from K-12. Obviously, growing up with my family has influenced what I consider dark or lighthearted and as an American I also learned how to put a positive spin on things so as to make the news palatable (or simply not talk about it all). But deep down, much like you, I don't get overwhelmed with the dark stuff and prefer to dive right into it early in the budding friendship because I prefer to know what we're made out of from the get go. I do feel like it's TMI in many cases but I decided some time ago that if someone considers it TMI then that's fine because now we know. I'd always rather know. It's also incredibly refreshing when others share their sad news . It's a privilege and let's me know what I'm made of too. Thanks for your post!
Olga, thank you so much for sharing my work. I’m so happy it’s been useful to you. This story is a total blast from my past--it's 100% true and makes me smile whenever I think of it. I never saw her again and hope her birth process was as comfortable as it could be. I'm a Texan transplanted to New England, so given the finding that disclosure should be "sustained, escalating, reciprocal, and personalistic," I definitely wasn't prepared to start with oiled perineums. Next time, I'll be ready!
I deal with my social anxiety by over sharing in a big way. It’s probably why I always fail job interviews. Here in New England, though, such instant intimacy is viewed with great suspicion. No one wants to hear about my thongs. Perhaps this is why I get along so well with my dental hygienist, who is Polish, and why most of my friends are therapists.
I usually want that sweet, sweet TMI. Lay it on me. Sometimes TMI is endearing if done with humility or a sense of humor. Maybe as journalists we have a higher tolerance for self-disclosure. We're like, "Just tell me what's really going on here" lol.
I think the alternative to an “adult friend” is a “childhood friend” or maybe a “college friend”, referring to when you befriended them rather than their current age.
My mother is Mongolian and was raised in Communist Mongolia speaking Russian from K-12. Obviously, growing up with my family has influenced what I consider dark or lighthearted and as an American I also learned how to put a positive spin on things so as to make the news palatable (or simply not talk about it all). But deep down, much like you, I don't get overwhelmed with the dark stuff and prefer to dive right into it early in the budding friendship because I prefer to know what we're made out of from the get go. I do feel like it's TMI in many cases but I decided some time ago that if someone considers it TMI then that's fine because now we know. I'd always rather know. It's also incredibly refreshing when others share their sad news . It's a privilege and let's me know what I'm made of too. Thanks for your post!
Olga, thank you so much for sharing my work. I’m so happy it’s been useful to you. This story is a total blast from my past--it's 100% true and makes me smile whenever I think of it. I never saw her again and hope her birth process was as comfortable as it could be. I'm a Texan transplanted to New England, so given the finding that disclosure should be "sustained, escalating, reciprocal, and personalistic," I definitely wasn't prepared to start with oiled perineums. Next time, I'll be ready!
I deal with my social anxiety by over sharing in a big way. It’s probably why I always fail job interviews. Here in New England, though, such instant intimacy is viewed with great suspicion. No one wants to hear about my thongs. Perhaps this is why I get along so well with my dental hygienist, who is Polish, and why most of my friends are therapists.
Olga, I love that you're exploring this! I wrote about oversharing for the NYT because I was curious about that line too: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/09/15/well/live/dating-over-sharing.html
I usually want that sweet, sweet TMI. Lay it on me. Sometimes TMI is endearing if done with humility or a sense of humor. Maybe as journalists we have a higher tolerance for self-disclosure. We're like, "Just tell me what's really going on here" lol.
I am a Yank living in Texas who hates light, fluffy small talk. How did/do you deal with Texans? Everything here is light, fluffy, and courteous.
I think the alternative to an “adult friend” is a “childhood friend” or maybe a “college friend”, referring to when you befriended them rather than their current age.