It’s decorative gourd season, you-know-what-ers. My favorite season, and the only good season, summer, is now officially over, so I’m here with some recommendations for outdoor activities for this inferior season. Personally, I like to swim almost every day it’s feasible, but the pandemic and the dreaded East Coast weather have once again put a stop to this. So now that the pool is no longer open, might I recommend:
As a generation, we were collectively brainwashed into thinking summer was the best season for three reasons:
1) the results of global warming were less pronounced as we scampered around in the 90s and early aughts, blissfully unaware of the sordid, sticky hellscapes of summers to come,
2) it was the only real vacation we got, so we associate all our warm fuzzy memories of bliss with friends and family with the months of June, July, and August, and
3) something something too busy enjoying my pumpkin beer with a cinnamon sugar rim something something.
As a generation, we were collectively brainwashed into thinking summer was the best season for three reasons:
1) the results of global warming were less pronounced as we scampered around in the 90s and early aughts, blissfully unaware of the sordid, sticky hellscapes of summers to come,
2) it was the only real vacation we got, so we associate all our warm fuzzy memories of bliss with friends and family with the months of June, July, and August, and
3) something something too busy enjoying my pumpkin beer with a cinnamon sugar rim something something.